Posts Tagged ‘funny’

Speechless.

 

 

Everybody knows the internet is full of cats. It should be called caternet. It doesn’t even matter if they are real cats or cartoons or fiction cats or alien cats :)) Anyhoo, here’s one more proof of that.

Pop music favorites get the kitty cat treatment on the ‘Kitties and Bullsh*t’ Tumblr. Created by Sofia Falcon, the site showcases artwork that uses song lyrics and replaces key words with cat-themed lyrics. As Falcon explains on the blog, “I guess it’s like Al Yankovic, only all about cats.” The illustrations are simple but purrfectly hilarious.

 

So here are some of the “if you watch it backwards” memes.

If you watch Jaws backwards, it’s about a shark that throws up so many people, that they have to open a beach.

If you watch Mr. & Mrs. Smith backwards, it’s about two assassins who both decide to live a boring marriage life.

If you watch Pinocchio backwards, it’s about a boy who hangs out with a pedophile who turns him into a wooden puppet sex toy.

If you watch Osama Bin Laden’s life backwards, it’s about an ocean zombie who builds skyscrapers out of airplanes.

If you watch Dracula backwards, it’s about a blood donor with really strange methods who decides to return to his homeland Transylvania after saving people in England.

If you watch Lord of the Rings backwards, it’s about a midget that gets a ring from a volcano and spends 9 hours walking home.

If you watch The Blair Witch Project backwards, some guys leave their holiday cottage, hike through the woods, find a map and go home.

If you watch The Sound of Music backwards, Julie Andrews divorces her elderly husband, and plots to drive a wedge between him and his kids by boring them all shitless with her singing. Mission fulfilled, she fucks off and joins a convent.

If you watch Star Wars backwards, it’s about this guy who knows this chick is his sister, but wants to do her anyway.

If you watch World War II backwards, Hitler proves himself to be one of the greatest humanitarians who ever lived when he uses magical gas chambers to bring over six million Jews back to life, rebuilds half of Europe with his amazingly fast blitzkriegs and brings democracy to Germany.

If you watch Superman backwards, it is about a guy who flies around, putting people into precarious situations, then hiding.

If you watch Saw backwards, it is a truly amazing and touching story about one man providing countless limbs for the disabled.

New Condoms is devoted to repurposing well-known brand slogans into the context of condoms just for your pleasure. The results are somewhat hilarious…

1. FINE 

This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

2.FIVE MINUTES 

If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

3. NOTHING

This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with “nothing” usually end in “fine”.

4. GO AHEAD

This is a dare, not permission. Don’t Do It!

5. LOUD SIGH

This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of nothing.)

6. THAT’S OK!

This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That’s okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

7. THANKS

A woman is thanking you, do not question, or faint. Just say you’re welcome. (I want to add in a clause here – This is true, unless she says ‘Thanks a lot’ – that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say ‘you’re welcome’ . that will bring on a ‘whatever’).

8. WHATEVER

Is a woman’s way of saying FUCK  YOU!

9. DON’T WORRY ABOUT IT, I GOT IT!

Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking ‘What’s wrong?’ For the woman’s response refer to #3.